


Tonight.

by Shulik



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Crack, F/M, Harry Potter Crossover - Freeform, Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-09 22:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shulik/pseuds/Shulik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Third Year</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You should talk to her,” Johanna said, reclining on her elbows with a stalk of grass in the corner of her mouth and a pair of her favorite aviators blocking the surprisingly bright April sunshine. As one of the very few muggleborn Slytherins around, she felt it was a duty of hers and those like her to represent her heritage- or so the official line of explanation went when McGonagall would swoop down like a bird of prey, mouth stern with Scottish disapproval at Johanna’s more _interesting_ outfits. 

Today Johanna was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that were so ripped, you could see more skin than material when she walked and a corset that left nothing to the imagination. God bless the weekends. 

“I can’t just _talk_ to her,” Peeta shot her a dirty look, which for supposedly being the nicest guy in their year, he could do _real_ well. 

“What am I going to say?...” he screwed up his face, “hey Katniss, you don’t know me- but I’ve been watching you since first year, in an entirely non-creepy way. Doesn’t that just make you want to date me?” 

Johanna slid her sunglasses down a notch and fixed Peeta with a deeply unimpressed eye. “Listen up buttercup, it’s not _my_ fault that you’re suffering from a six year case of epic blue balls. Don’t get snippy with me.” 

Peeta smiled at her, leaning forward to nudge her with an elbow- “sorry Jo, it’s just- you know how it is…” he trailed off, dimples making tiny little grooves in his cheeks, wind blowing through his ash blonde hair. 

Somewhere to the side, Johanna could hear a pack of Hufflepuffs sighing forlornly at the sight. One of them looked like she was going to make a break for it and launch herself at Peeta any moment now. Two of the other Puffs, perhaps sensing their friend’s impending doom or maybe even the force of Johanna’s glare, held her back, whispering platitudes while still staring at Peeta with visible hearts in their eyes. 

“It’s just,” Peeta sighed and ripped a chunk of grass out, scattering the various pieces as he talked. Poor boy always became more thoughtlessly violent when it came to Katniss, “she’s just so _great_ Jo, so strong and ballsy.” He turned to Johanna, eyes beaming that special brand of innocence only he could pool off without looking like a loon- “you know that she took care of her whole family before she got her Hogwarts letter?” 

Johanna groaned, flopping back in the grass with a deeply pained sigh. “I know Peeta, you’ve told me. Again and again. Katniss Everdeen is the sun to your earth, the moon to your stars. A rainbow shines out of her goddamn ass and you’re the unicorn that prances to its shiny, shiny beat…” 

There was a suspicious silence on the other end. 

Johanna cracked open one eye to see Peeta staring at her with a deeply judgmental look on his face. “You don’t understand my love for her,” he intoned. 

Johanna could have taken him easy and for one glorious, brief, shining moment she actually considered it. Might have done him more good than panting after Everdeen would ever do but then again, there was six years of history between them and even at eleven- Johanna had the good taste to pick a best friend so likeable and unassuming that even the most sly of Slytherins tended to give them a wide berth, and nobody looked at them twice when Gryffindor tower would start overflowing or there’d be a parade of little, slimy green frogs all decked out in their finest red and gold down the Great Hall tables. 

Instead, she picked herself off the grass and pushed her sunglasses tightly against her face. “I’m going to go,” Johanna told him, “before I snap and kick you in your kidneys.” 

Peeta, apparently over his brief moment of verbal insanity and blushing a dull, brick red just nodded. “Sorry,” he shrugged his shoulders and a passing Ravenclaw let out a tiny squeak at the sight. 

Peeta’s shoulders were no joke. 

Over the last two summers, he had started working at a muggle bakery and without the alternative of magic- muscles had started sprouting on him at a rate that Johanna started finding faintly alarming and then just amusing. 

“Peets,” Johanna took a deep breath and tried not to let any of her natural cynicism and sarcasm through, “you’ve got to talk to her.” She nodded over in the direction of the lake where they last saw Katniss disappear. “I’m your best friend but even _I’ve_ got to tell you that your epic love affair with Katniss Everdeen can never begin until you get your head out your ass and actually talk to the girl.” 

She then stooped low and before Peeta could react, grabbed the little pile of torn up grass and smushed it furiously into his hair. 

Johanna could still hear him spluttering as she walked past the Hufflepuffs when an idea, a truly terrible, awful idea struck her and she snagged the arm of the blondest looking Puff around her. 

“Undersee, right?” Johanna smiled and Undersee shuddered. Good girl, nobody did well when Johanna Mason started smiling. 

“Madge,” the Puff squeaked back before straightening, shoulders firm and spine steely. “My name is Madge.” 

Well hell, the Hufflepuff had some hidden reserve of strength to her. This idea actually might work. Impressed, Johanna could feel her smile becoming a little more real and a little less feral. She swung her arm around _Madge_ Undersee’s shoulders and edged her out of the pack of her yellow-scarf clad brethren. 

“Madge,” Johanna gave her a wink, “how’d you like to get to know Peeta Mellark a little better?” 

Madge did not look amused, “you mean the Peeta Mellark that’s so hung up on Katniss Everdeen that he might as well be glued to her?” 

Johanna paused to reconsider her initial approach. “I'm going to try and make Everdeen jealous of our wonder-boy over there, so I’ll get you whatever you want if you act like you’re interested in Peeta.” She paused, “within reason, of course.” 

Undersee, because she was back to last name basis on account of actually having common sense, looked thoughtful- “you’re friends with Haymitch Abernathy, right?” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Johanna held up her hands and took a step back, “I can’t get you Abernathy. He’s involved in this long and sordid thing with Trinket- those two are really into their hexing and various creative curses, and I have more sense than to go against her.” She leaned into Undersee’s personal space, “have you _seen_ the nails on that one?” 

Undersee made a face at Johanna, “that’s not what I meant. Why is it that everything has to do with sex when it comes to you?” 

Clearly, Johanna needed to put the fear back into the general population’s soul. 

She eyed Undersee and wistfully contemplated filling the Hufflepuff Common Room with condoms and honey. Maybe even honey-coated condoms. Then, she thought about how long it would probably take the Hufflepuffs to figure out what the condoms were for, and how the last time she had pranked Antonia Smith- her father had come down on Hogwarts like the hand of god, until Headmaster Potter had done his angry, squinty eyed thing and had said ‘So _Zacharias_ , it’s been a while since we’ve talked. Why don’t you step into my office? and the elder Smith, pale and drawn had stumbled in after him. 

God, Johanna loved the Headmaster. Granted, he was gay as a maypole flag and if one considered the heated glances him and Professor Malfoy would send each other during meal times, he was also very, very taken. It didn’t take away any of her admiration though and Johanna had sailed through six years of school very comfortable in the knowledge that Headmaster Potter was the perfect man for her, if it wasn’t for the pesky twenty year age difference and the fact that he preferred cock. 

Who didn’t? 

Back to Undersee though, there was planning to be done and blackmail smelled like hope on the horizon. “What do you want?” Johanna shifted in place. 

Somewhere ahead, Peeta was seeking refuge with other Slytherins, looking hunted and desperate as the Hufflepuffs boxed him in from every direction. 

Johanna smiled. They had style.

“I want Plutarch Heavensbee’s lecture notes for Potions, Astronomy and Ancient Runes- him and Haymitch are best friends, he can make it happen,“ Undersee said in a low undertone, looking crazy around the eyes and also like a big, giant cheater. 

The respect from earlier came roaring back with a vengeance. 

Johanna snorted and swung an arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders. “You know Undersee,” she said companiably, “it’s really a shame that we haven’t hung out before. You seem just like my kind of girl.”

“Oh,” Undersee said and shifted away, “I’m not into girls. Sorry.” 

Maybe, Johanna sighed, she wouldn’t fill their Common Room with honey. Maybe she’d just do it to the Hufflepuff girls’ dormitory. 

 

+

 

The oatmeal was a little lumpy. Johanna stirred it disinterestedly, watching it gloop back down off her spoon. 

Peeta dropped into his customary space next to her, smelling fresh off the showers and looking like he had gone ten rounds with an angry hippogriff last night. 

Those Hufflepuffs really meant business. 

“I’m going to get you for that,” he said conversationally and reached over for some pudding. 

“Oh whatever,” Johanna poured herself some more coffee, “you could have gone to Pomfrey you big drama queen instead of showing up to breakfast looking like death warmed over. Also a prostitute.” The bags under his eyes were so dark that they blended perfectly with his robes, his lips looked raw and he was covered in lovebites. 

Peeta looked hilariously indignant. “I _did_ , she said that she’s had enough of me getting into trouble with the ladies and to try saying no next time.” 

“Why didn’t you?” Johanna cocked her head. 

Peeta’s nostrils flared as he turned his head, turning the left side of his neck to her- “I did. This was the answer.” The hickey, if it could be called that, looked like a vampire had gone to town on him. An angry bruised looking thing, it covered his pale skin and stood out prominently. It made the love bites look like mosquito bites.

“Oh Peets,” Johanna sighed and took out her wand, “what would you do without me?” 

He was terrible at healing spells and terrible at Quidditch, despite the fact that he probably had the perfect build to be a Beater and he was also Johanna’s best friend- he was also sometimes a first class dork. Her first friend that she made in Hogwarts and the only one that never gave up on her. 

She hugged him in a rare burst of fondness. “You’re alright Peets,” Johanna said and then smacked a wet, saliva-filled kiss on him. Tradition from the very first time she had kissed him when they were eleven. 

Peeta laughed at her, “don’t think this will stop my swift and terrible vengeance.” 

“Looking forward to it,” Johanna told him and meant it. She stood up and grabbed an apple to go, “I’ve got to go find Abernathy. Cover for me with Malfoy?” 

Peeta’s face twisted, “come on now. How many times is this?” 

“Hey,” Johanna pointed at him with her index finger, “it’s not my fault that Malfoy thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread and bleached blonde hair. As my best friend,” she paused, “nay, my _brother_ from another mother- it is your sacred duty to cover for my lateness.” 

Peeta stared up at her. “How many cups of coffee did you have?” 

“Four,” Johanna said with great dignity and then shoved a treacle tart down the back of Peeta’s shirt before booking it out of the Great Hall like a pack of dementors were after her. 

He might have been pants at healing spells, but Peeta could still do a basic scourgify. 

Johanna was too busy cackling madly as she ran and Peeta was swearing up a blue streak. Neither one of them noticed the twin dark looks that were being directed at them from the Gryffindor table. 

 

+

 

Johanna found Abernathy in one of the unused classrooms on the fourth floor, standing on top of a desk and turning the ceiling into one big mirror. The walls were draped in heavy, purple velvet and he had turned half the lights into incense holders. There were also various, ornate looking sofas and beanbag chairs strewn throughout. The classroom looked like a vaguely Middle Eastern bordello. 

“Um,” Johanna cleared her throat in the doorway, smiling genially as Abernathy glared darkly at her, “do I _want_ to know?” 

“Probably not,” he said, “what are you doing here?” 

“I need a favour,” Johanna walked into the sex dungeon and took a deep breath, “and patchouli? _Really?_ ” 

“Shut up,” Abernathy hopped off his desk, apparently satisfied that his mirrored ceiling would reflect whatever perverted sexual acts he would be performing, “and what kind of favour?” 

“I need you to get me Plutarch’s notes for Potions, Astronomy, Runes and Transfiguration-“ while she was at it, it had been a good long while since she had gotten anything above an A in McGonagall’s classroom and clearly, the day had come when this would change. 

“Hmm,” Haymitch hummed thoughtfully before cocking his head and narrowing his eyes at her in the universally Slytherin gesture of interest. “What do I get in return?”

“What do you want?” Johanna took a step back, just in case. Abernathy was a friend and he was predictable usually, but he _had_ been spending a lot of time with Gryffindor’s finest and most brightly colored so Merlin only knew what was on his mind. 

He grinned and took out his wand. Johanna tensed. “Don’t worry,” Abernathy said soothingly, which really did nothing for her nerves, “I just need to test out a spell on you. I give you my word that no harm will befall you.” 

Johanna snorted. 

Abernathy held up his right palm and placed it over his heart. “Slytherin’s honor.” 

Somewhere out there, Peeta probably still smelled like treacle and was most likely still mooning over Everdeen. 

Johanna sighed. “I want an oath.” 

They touched wands and Haymitch intoned, “ I promise that no spells uttered within the next hour will be aimed towards harming Johanna Louise Mason. On this I do solemnly vow my magic.” The magic flared bright between them and then raced up into their elbows. 

“Fine,” Johanna tucked her wand away, “let’s do this.” 

Haymitch had a look of unholy glee as he stood in front of her. 

Johanna grimly reminded herself about Peeta and then pictured what the next year would look like if she didn’t get him laid soon. 

There were not enough psychotropic drugs in the world. 

“Stay calm,” Haymitch said like that wasn’t ominous _at all_ and then started to mutter something under his breath, low enough that Johanna couldn’t catch it. There was a pause and then chains were descending from the ceiling, low Arabic sounding music began to play from somewhere unseen and Johanna had the uncontrollable desire to do a shimmy and quite possibly do it while naked. 

Peeta better appreciate everything she was doing for him. 

 

+

 

There was a very neat spell that Peeta had read about in a compendium of dark arts once. Johanna was going to have to find it in order to forget what she had just seen. No obliviate would be enough. 

She skulked down the corridor, the note from Haymitch to Plutarch still in her hands. Her shaking, shaking hands and thought about possibly trading her soul for some Firewhiskey right about now. 

Years of Slytherin living and being as cunning as possible while pranking every other house and stealing food from the kitchens had taken their toll, so that when Effie Trinket appeared from a stairwell- Johanna slid smoothly into the shadowy alcove of a tapestry with Brunhila Imelidge on it and held her breath. 

Was that a…whip tucked into the back of Effie’s belt? Johanna was about to lean forward and maybe try and see where her long-suffering sanity had taken off to when a hand pulled her back. 

There was a reason why muggleborns in Slytherin were rare. 

Johanna swung without hesitating, jumping back just in time to see Gale Hawthorne fall out of the tapestry behind her. 

He landed on his knees, groaning as he glared at her. “What the _hell_ was that for?” The floor creaked alarmingly beneath him. 

“That was for being a creepy stalker and assaulting a young, uncorrupted female in a dark hallway!” Johanna shouted back at him. 

She then paused and flushed darkly. 

Gale was watching her with incredulity. Both of them simultaneously decided to leave her previous statement alone.

“I might have, there is a small possibility that I might have ingested too much caffeine this morning,” Johanna explained. 

“Ah,” Gale nodded before getting to his feet slowly. He rubbed at the inside of his thigh with a scowl. “You kick like a donkey,” he informed Johanna, “anyone ever tell you that?” 

Johanna gaped at him before slamming her mouth shut and shoving a finger in Gale’s chest. “Yeah?” she narrowed her eyes. “Well you’ve got a big head, your pecs are starting to look more like manboobs and you’ve really got to get in control of those anger issues of yours!” 

“Also,” Johanna continued, “you’re a Gryffindor and the lot of you are savages that wouldn’t know a compliment to a lady if it bit them in the ass.”

“And you have terrible hair,” she finished. 

Gale stared silently at her for a moment before visibly shaking his head and asking- “are you dating Peeta Mellark?” 

Ew, ew, ew. There were things out there that one should never think of or picture under the threat of extreme disgust and possibly projectile vomiting. Johanna shuddered. 

“Well, I guess that explains that-“ Gale said thoughtfully, still watching her with a strange expression on his face that she couldn’t understand, didn’t want to. “So-“ he took a deep breath and stepped closer, “do you _want_ to-“

The floor made an ominous sound between them, old wood that they had never bothered to replace in this section of the castle and it figured, it fucking _figured_ that this would happen to her. There was a brief second of panic before Johanna wrapped her arms around Gale and the floor collapsed below them. 

She really hoped that she’d land on him. It would serve the bastard right for being such a creeper. 

His hair wasn’t that bad though- was Johanna’s last thought before they hit the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

“I want all the firewhiskey in the world…and cupcakes-” Johanna spat pink, frothy saliva onto a rock, “and then I want the Ravenclaw Quidditch team to present the cupcakes to me from a silver tray.” She paused when there was no forthcoming comments like expected from Gale’s end. 

“Also, to do a slinky dance. Especially Fairweather,” Johanna continued on viciously, fully aware of the fact that Fairweather and Gale had some kind of intense rivalry going on. She didn’t know the full details of it, but all she knew that Fairweather liked to hang out with more of the pureblood Slytherin variety and while her and Peeta practically _ran_ the place Weasley twins style- the other purebloods never bothered much with them. 

Whatever it was between them, it wasn’t making Gale react the way she wanted him to. He just sat there, all strong and silent and _muscular_ , staring at her unblinkingly with half his shirt ripped off as a makeshift bandage for the wound in Johanna’s side. There was a gash on his forehead from where his head had knocked against one of the tiles as they fell and Johanna was pretty sure that a chunk of his hair was missing due to her having ripped it out mid-flight. 

_Good_ she thought viciously and regretted not ripping out more. 

Gale’s eyes were the same color grey as Everdeen’s. Something about the two of them coming from the same small village, they could have passed for cousins. 

Kissing cousins more like, Johanna thought spitefully, remembering all the times she would see Peeta heartbroken because Everdeen was sitting a little too closely to Gale. 

Something hot, insistent twisted between Johanna’s shoulder blades and she twitched, angry before reconsidering her position. 

“You know,” Johanna started casually, picking at the rip in her shirt- “Peeta’s probably trying to get into your girlfriend’s pants right now.” She looked up, deliberately coy, glancing at Gale through her eyelashes- “and Peeta _always_ gets what he wants from girls.” 

This was a lie. Peeta got girls, that was _a_ truth but the one and only irreversible fact of Peeta Mellark’s life is that he has only ever wanted one. 

Still though. Johanna’s taunt seemed to have worked, she thought, watching Gale shove himself off the rock across from her and stalk his way forward. Now, if only it worked for _good_ and not getting her killed, that would be something else entirely. 

Her plans sucked, she thought ruefully and prepared to spend her afterlife haunting Peeta’s blond ass until he balled up and stole Katniss Everdeen away from Gale Hawthorne. 

And then, her train of thought derailed spectacularly.

Peeta and Katniss would get married, move to somewhere in the country where Everdeen would become an amazon and shoot things for shits and giggles and probably find moors upon which she could prowl while Peeta baked cakes and reared their children. 

And Johanna would be dead, forever alone and forever sixteen, stuck in Hogwarts because nobody would go looking for her abandoned body in a collapsed corridor and Gale Hawthorne would go on being muscular and probably marry a Hufflepuff. Probably Madge _Undersee_ , who would tell him about Johanna’s mad schemes and the two of them would reminisce over the crazy girl and how _clearly_ , clearly she got what was coming to her. 

“I will not be a proper ghost!” Johanna exclaimed hotly, stopping Gale in his tracks from where he was starting to loom pretty damn ominously over her. “Just letting you know that if you thought that Myrtle was bad, I’m going to be the _worst_ -“ she said juicily and poked a sharp finger in her would-be murderer’s very muscled chest. 

Gale’s eyebrow rose and he looked at Johanna’s finger, clearly assessing and then back up at her face. 

“That’s _right_ buddy-boy,” Johanna said with relish and poked him again, because blood-loss was apparently going to be the death of her in more ways than one and she had never been one for keeping her mouth shut when she could let it run roughshod all over the place. 

“I’m going to haunt your ass until you’re absolutely _sick_ of me, and then- guess what I’m going to do then?” 

Gale’s second eyebrow began climbing up to his hairline until it looked like the both of them were going to abscond into his black hair, leaving him looking permanently bemused and also like a surprised clown. 

“What?” he finally grated out. 

“I’m going to _keep_ haunting you because there will be nothing you can do to stop me!” Johanna finished and crossed her arms, momentarily forgetting about the hole in her side. 

The material she had been bunching promptly fell off, landing beside her with a sick, squelching sound. 

Gale followed the movement with a resigned look to him, like he had already managed to make peace with the fact that Johanna was crazy despite the fact that it usually took people _years_ to come to peace with her own very special brand of insanity and also like he was-…

Johanna blinked. “Are you taking your shirt off or have I died and gone to heaven? I mean, the abs _do_ suggest a certain heavenly element to the proceedings but the walls and the pain and also the fact that I’m still pretty hungry are enough to make me doubt myself.” 

Gale glowered at her, pulling the shirt off his torso in one terse movement like he would gladly use it to strangle Johanna to death. He then folded it in quick, efficient movements and stuck the whole thing, very unceremoniously too, under Johanna’s shirt where the cut was sluggishly seeping blood. 

“Don’t move,” he rocked back on his haunches and eyed her through some pretty impressive crazy eyes, “you keep aggravating your wound when you do.” 

“Huh,” Johanna said and then when no new and interesting thoughts seemed to be forthcoming, she grinned- “I’m betting you’re really missing your wand right about now. A nice Silencio to shut me up, a couple hard Reductos to get us out of here and you’d be out in no time, making nice with Everdeen and also wearing red and gold like it’s going out of style.”

Johanna’s wand had been lost in the fall and they had landed on Gale’s. It looked like both of them would have to get special permission to visit Ollivander’s as soon as possible. 

Provided someone actually rescued them and Peeta wasn’t too busy planning his perfect wedding to Katniss Everdeen. 

Gale looked aggravated, which after spending the last couple of hours in a confined space with him, Johanna had discovered to be his natural look. “I’m not dating Katniss,” he said with a searching expression, “we’re not together.” He then sat back and stared at Johanna, not blinking like the humongous creeper that he apparently was. 

If she could still feel shame after six years in Slytherin, then Johanna would be feeling pretty damn ashamed of still being attracted to the brooding moron in front of her but alas, Peeta wasn’t the only one with appalling taste in Gryffindors. Maybe, a bright pink figure popped into her head, they could talk to Haymitch to figure out how he dealt with them, unresponsive brutes that they were. 

He and Trinket seemed to have their shit figured out, kinky sex games and all. 

“Oh,” Johnna said to Gale, playing for time and also terribly, burningly curious. “Why does the whole school think that you are, then?” 

“We tried dating once,” Gale rubbed the back of his neck, where a delightfully pink blush was spreading, “in fourth year. It was a disaster. She’s too much like my sister to ever date.” 

“Kinky,” Johanna drawled out and then stopped at the grin that lit up Gale’s face. 

Smiling, he looked like a completely different person and Johanna’s treacherous, treacherous heart lurched in her chest. 

“Are you and Peeta together?” Gale asked, still smiling and leaned back down, dropping to his knees in front of her. 

“No,” Johanna shook her head dumbly, watching the way Gale’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled, the pleased curl to his lips, the small furrow between his brows. “We never were… He’s my family,” Johanna swallowed the lump in her throat, “my _only_ family.” 

“Johanna,” Gale took a breath and reached for her free hand, “I-…” 

And that’s when Professor Potter blasted through the wall, knocking one of the rocks straight into Gale’s temple, promptly knocking him out. 

“Oh no,” Professor Potter said sheepishly, hurrying to Gale’s side and starting to cast healing spells on him with speed that would have been more impressive had Professor Malfoy not been climbing through the hole in the rock wall, bright blonde hair like a beacon, muttering obscenities and also casting aspersions about Professor Potter’s parents. 

“Nice going Potter,” he sneered and dropped to a crouch beside Johanna. 

“Miss Mason,” he said, waving his wand as Johanna began to feel the reassuring waves of his magic, “this is not the way to best a Gryffindor.” He raised his voice so that the Headmaster would have no choice about hearing what he was saying, “if we are to murder them in cold blood, we must make sure to not fall into the same trap as them. How very unbecoming of your house, Miss Mason. Five points from Slytherin. ” 

Johanna smiled as Peeta clambered into the hole, clucking like a worried mother hen, hands fluttering nervously around her as Professor Malfoy glared at him. 

“ _Mister_ Mellark, do try to control yourself. Your cohort will be ready for transport to the infirmary in a moment, if you could check on Mister Hawthorne in the meantime or at least try to get of my _way_ \- that would be fantastic.” 

Both Peeta and Johanna eyed Gale who was beginning to come around, moaning piteously as Professor Potter tried to help him up. 

“He’s fine,” Peeta said to the Potions Master and then turned to Johanna. 

“What were you doing in this corridor?” he eyed her with a poorly concealed pout. Most likely lamenting the fact that she was going on apparently life-threatening madcap adventures without him. 

“And without _me_ ,” Peeta added, further cementing their status as dunderheads in the eyes of Professor Malfoy who was eyeing the two of them with incredulity. Dunderheads being one of his favorite little curse words that made Johanna secretly wonder whether the Potions Master was actually a crotchety old man in disguise. 

“We can talk about this later,” Johanna cleared her throat meaningfully and all three of them shot a glance in the direction of the Gryffindors, where Professor Potter was looking much less flustered and Gale was looking much less dead. 

Something heavy and unwelcome settled into the pit of Johanna’s stomach. Refused to let go. 

Professor Malfoy looked at the two of them with distaste, “as much as I am loathe to let house dealings be heard in the vicinity of Potter and his ilk,” Gale made an affronted noise like an elk behind them, “you _will_ tell us all what made you descend into this Salazar-forsaken corner of the castle, almost breaking yours and your fellow… _classman’s_ ” Professor’s Malfoy’s lips curled in a sneer, “necks in the process.” 

Johanna thought about lying, remembered that both Professors were Legilemens, sighed and then steeled her shoulders and raised her chin in defiance, “I was brokering a deal between a couple of upperclassmen for a favor for a housemate.” 

Peeta winced behind Professor’s Malfoy’s back before his eyes softened, realization flooding his features and he shuffled closer to Johanna. 

“I _see_ …” Professor Malfoy said before gesturing over at Gale. “And _this_ unfortunate?” 

“He was being a creeper,” Johanna promptly informed her Head of House, “also, just letting you know that I used him as a landing pad when we fell through the floor. That’s why his head is so banged up.” 

Peeta looked proud, he raised a thumbs up to which Johanna nodded gratefully as was her due. 

“Interesting,” Professor Malfoy said before shooting one last spell that numbed everything in Johanna’s body, including her wound but not limited to her extremities. 

“Ten points to Slytherin for such a-“ he paused “ _creative_ use of your surroundings” he said, smirking in the direction of the Headmaster who was turning a funny purple color, making inarticulate noises of rage that sounded more like dying duck sounds rather than authoritative commands. 

Johanna smacked her numb lips together before letting Peeta haul her to her feet. “Thanks thir.”

 

+

 

Peeta sounded like a stuffed elephant when he was doing his Arithmancy homework. Mainly because he was utter shite at the subject and his sinuses always started to act up whenever he had to concentrate. 

It was a testament to the strength and longevity of their friendship that instead of being annoyed to waking up to the sound of Peeta mouth-breathing near her bed, Johanna was instead, inexplicably and embarrassingly comforted. 

She lay with her eyes closed, unwilling to open them yet and face Peeta’s barrage of questions of what the hell was she thinking and going off and getting hurt was going to be the least of her worries because Peeta was going to unleash a world of pain by refusing to bake her Sunday croissants anymore. 

Then a different noise reached her ears and Johanna tensed, holding her breath as something clattered to her right and Peeta cursed before dropping to the floor. 

“Hi Peeta,” Katniss freaking Everdeen said at Johanna’s left, voice soft, and footsteps apparently like a ninja if neither Johanna or Peeta felt her come into the infirmary. 

“Katniss,” Peeta cleared his throat, sounds of him nervously straightening his robe and then dropping something else filtered through. “You’re _here_ , at the infirmary. Where I am. Without Gale.” 

Oh the shame, the utter shame...

If she opened her eyes, Johanna was sure it would be to the sight of Peeta flushing his usual bubblegum pink color. 

Katniss made a soft huffing sound and when she spoke- her voice sounded amused. “Gale got kicked out two hours ago, Pomfrey healed his cut and the bruise that the Headmaster gave him. He wasn’t allowed to stay. Thought he _really_ wanted to.” 

“Oh… yeah, I guess. Moral support, huh?” Peeta laughed his fake laugh. The one that made Johanna’s palms itch with the urge to hit him. 

“No…” Katniss said slowly, “he wanted to stay here for _other_ reasons.” 

There was a strange, emphasized silence where Johanna seriously contemplated opening her eyes and cementing her reputation as a creepy voyeur if only for the opportunity to pick at Everdeen’s brain. 

“So,” Peeta finally broke the détente, “what are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to thank you,” Katniss finally said, rushed out words tumbling over themselves like building blocks, “for what you did, for me and Prim. Thank you. I know your parents haven’t forgiven you for that or for anything that came afterwards, but- you saved our lives Peeta. I will _never_ forget that.” She sounded fierce, like a fighter. 

Johanna guessed that this was what kept Peeta coming back, stuck on Katniss Everdeen since he was five years old. 

She knew their history, their families’ stories; how Peeta’s father had fallen in love with Katniss’s muggle mother and would have left his family, left his heritage if only she would be with him but she fell in love with another muggle villager. Peeta’s father had forgiven them but Peeta’s mother could never forget the fact that she had never been her husband’s first choice and had subsequently done everything she could to ruin Katniss’ parents’ marriage. 

Nothing had worked. They were too in love. Until the day that Genim Everdeen had been accidentally killed and Katniss’s mother fell into a depression so thick that nothing could bring her out, not even the thought of children dying from starvation. Johanna never knew the details, but she knew that was around the time that Peeta had done something to forever enrage his mother, the first in a long line of actions that would one day culminate in Peeta’s dismissal from his family. 

“It’s fine,” Peeta said, a thin current of disappointment coloring his voice. 

Johanna ached for him, knowing exactly what he wanted to hear. 

“I’m just glad I could do something to help.”

“Ok,” Katniss took a breath, “ok, that was one thing.” 

“There’s another?” 

The sound of movement around her bed, the jostling at the foot of it and then the soft, unsure, foreign tone of Katniss Everdeen’s voice- “this is another.” 

When Johanna slitted her eyes open, she could see Katniss crowding into Peeta’s space, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him, soft and insistent. Peeta was the brightest pink that Johanna had ever seen him, more flushed than even the time with the Horkalumps and Weasleys’ Vanilla Scented Wondoms. 

Katniss’s eyes were open as she kissed him, grey blown to smithereens in the heat of the moment and Johanna knew that the other girl was perfectly aware of who it was exactly that she was kissing. 

The worry for Peeta, borne of nights spent drinking Firewhiskey with him and a period that neither one of them liked to talk about- hiding out from their families, both of them covered in cuts and bruises, healing the muggle way since neither of them knew any sort of healing spells and going to Hogwarts or St.Mungo’s was out of the question because if the authorities were alerted, the investigation would take up _months_ , effectively allowing their parents’ to seal off whatever savings they had managed to set aside for this exact reason- that worry, wrapped tight and held under Johanna’s heart, the knowledge that he was soft and kind and the only mean thing he had done in his life had been borne out of love for a girl who had never looked back at him- it uncurled and eased, finally relaxing after years of secret fear and planning in the dead of night. 

Johanna closed her eyes again and this time, when she relaxed- she wasn’t faking it. 

 

+

 

Johanna flew around the pitch in circles, winding down from the practice and then the additional time she had spent- practicing seeker’s moves, diving for the Snitch, spiraling up into the sky and then dropping into gravity defying falls that would have made a player much older and better than her nervous. 

Johanna just felt the pleasant burn of exercise. 

She dismounted her broom before heading towards the Slytherin Quidditch quarters. A dark shape uncurled from the door before heading towards her. 

Johanna tensed before recognizing Gale Hawthorne’s large shoulders and caveman brow. 

“Hawthorne,” she smirked up at him, leaning on her broom for support as she gestured with her free hand, “did you miss me? Do I need to throw something at you to complete the experience?” 

Gale grimaced. “Listen, I’m the last person to talk about how amazing Peeta Mellark is- but even he’s not as much of a jerk as you. Care to explain why?” 

Johanna’s eyebrows rose, “why, Hawthorne- you sure know how to make a lady feel special, don’t you? You're a regular old-school gentleman. And that’s because Peeta Mellark probably wouldn’t have been sorted into Slytherin if it wasn’t for me.” 

“What?” Gale frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“Jeez Hawthorne, your boner for my bff is showing-” Johanna rolled her eyes, “me and Peets had made a pact on the train. We’d go into the same house. And since Mason, M- A-“ she emphasized loudly, grinning at the look of umbrage on Gale’s face, “is before M-E, I was sorted first. I got Slytherin and all Peeta wanted was to be sorted somewhere where he already had a friend.”

Gale looked like his whole worldview had suddenly shifted and he was seriously unimpressed with what it was now showing him. 

“So you mean, he could have been sorted with me and Katniss from the very beginning?”

“Oh Merlin, no-“ Johanna laughed, “no- he’d probably have been a Hufflepuff.” She paused, suddenly feeling all the muscle aches from practice slam into her like a Bludger- “did you just want to talk about Peeta? Because I’m sure Everdeen’s already joined his fanclub, but if you sign up soon- I’ll make sure that you get the introductory t-shirt as well.” 

She started to walk around him, back towards the changing rooms when Gale stepped into her path. “Wait-“ he said, running a hand through his thick dark hair with visible frustration, “that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.” 

Johanna paused. “Yes?”

“Effie’s invited us to her wedding,” Gale said hurriedly, not meeting her eyes. “And I know that you and Mellark are friends with Abernathy, so you must have been invited as well.” 

Haymitch and Effie Trinket, not surprising anybody had decided to get married on their very last day in Hogwarts. The Headmaster had already agreed to officiate and Professor Granger was making noises about giving Effie away since both her parents had died in the war and her gran was too sick to come to Scotland. 

“Yes, and?” Johanna prompted. She took a breath, “and I’m not trying to be an ass to you, I swear- but I’m exhausted so if you could make this any quicker, I’d be terribly ob-“ 

“Didyouwantobemydatefortheirwedding?” Gale blurted out and then turned an interesting, albeit somewhat hideous shade of brick red. 

“Wait, what?” Johanna cocked her head. “Are you drunk Hawthorne? I know how much you and your brutish brethren like to imbibe of the devil’s spirits, I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“I’m not drunk and stop with the Gryffindor name calling.” Gale loomed, “and also- didn’t I see Roxanne Weasley sneaking in a case of Elven wine into the Slytherin dorms last Thursday?” 

“You can’t prove anything,” Johanna sniffed before an unholy grin took over, “and oh my god!” 

Gale took a fast and cautious step backwards. 

“You want to take me to Haymitch’s wedding!” Johanna poked a finger in Gale’s chest before getting distracted and stroking it a little bit. “You _like_ me,” she said, awed and a little bit gleeful because while Gale Hawthorne might have been built like a professional Quidditch player and had the face of a pin-up, he was also a Gryffindor and she had been used to badmouthing him in the name of best friend solidarity for six years. 

“Oh Sweet Merciful Salazar,” Johanna breathed out and Gale twitched in response, “all these years- that was your version of flirting, wasn’t it?” 

“Well, it worked didn’t it?” Gale said irritably, batting her hand away in response. He looked off to the side, probably contemplating the best way to escape what was fast becoming an uncomfortable situation- “so?” 

“So?” Johanna crossed her arms, gleeful and feeling the potential for mayhem like a joyous, joyous promise of evil to come. 

“Come on, don’t make me say it.” 

“Maybe I want you to say it,” Johanna quirked an eyebrow. 

“Fine,” Gale ground his teeth, looking murderous and what Johanna was quickly realizing as a little bit aroused. “Will you be my date to Haymitch Abernathy’s and Effie Trinket’s wedding?” 

“Our fighting turns you on, you big pervert!” Johanna exclaimed before quieting down. “And yeah, why not? It’s Haymitch’s wedding so there’s bound to be an open bar, also I have the feeling that you’d look in a suit.” 

“I’m not wearing a suit,” Gale relaxed enough to get all caveman-brow again, all signs of worry erased from his face. 

“Oh yes you are,” Johanna smiled, “and you’re going to take me out before the wedding too. Somewhere nice and fancy, where the waiters are so snooty- they’d judge you before you stepped foot in their restaurant.” 

And because Gale was looking increasingly mutinous, Johanna, being the kind soul that she was, added- “but don’t worry, I’m planning to wear a dress cut down to my _navel_. So you’ll get yours.” 

Seeing as how Gale’s jaw looked like it wasn’t going to rise off the lawn anytime soon- Johanna walked around him with no problem. 

“Start thinking of date ideas and I’ll start thinking of slutty outfits to wear to them!” she trilled over her shoulder before walking into the green and silver hued locker rooms. 

Behind her, Gale sounded like he was choking. 

Peeta, with his epic romance, pining and staring at each other across crowded rooms- did not know what he was missing. Boy just needed to get laid, Johanna thought and cackled, shedding off her gear and stepping naked into the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third Year

Peeta broke his arm once, back in third year. He didn’t break it due to his own awkwardness and idiocy, despite the fact that the whole of Hogwarts faculty probably had a riding bet on Peeta injuring himself due to newly teenage awkwardness. 

Johanna remembered that moment as the sharpest spike of fear she had felt in good long while. 

Peeta had started filling out, puberty had hit him unexpectedly and with all the blunt force of the Whomping Willow going to town on a particularly unruly student. It was horrifying and kind of hilarious. 

It seemed like overnight, he went from a cherubic, chubby-cheeked twelve year old with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes to what essentially looked like a barely more human version of a walking mandrake, awkward limbs, constantly cracking voice that would sometimes squawk so loudly- it sounded painful to Johanna’s ears, and a face full of terrible spots. His body had gone from a child’s roundness to the in-between version of what would later grow into his bulky frame, shoulders and all. 

It was so bad that even Johanna had stood silently, looking over Peeta’s new and unexpected changes. 

“Go ahead,” Peeta said, staring at the ground with the bitter, cynical silence of all teenage boys first stepping into the hormonal pool of despair. 

“Just say it,” Peeta lifted his gaze, his mouth twisted “I know, I’m hideous. I look like something that’s just crawled out of the lake and never really adapted to life on land.”

Johanna swallowed the first joke that was threatening to erupt, pinched the soft flesh of her palm to stop the second one too and then shrugged nonchalantly, “I’ve seen worse.”  
She crossed her arms, “Smith over in Ravenclaw looked like one big zit for two months last semester.”

Peeta perked up at her words. Even his zits seemed to shine a little more cheerfully. 

“But then again,” Johanna said with deep satisfaction, watching Peeta wilt- “he was never as overdramatic as you.” 

There was a reason why the two of them were best friends after all. He provided the much needed dramatic angst and Johanna helpfully supplied the sarcastic commentary. It was a friendship built on beautiful balance and helping each other steal from the kitchens while the elves were busy working. 

“I’m hideous,” Johanna mocked in a passable squawk, “god Peeta, why are you such a girl?”

“One of us has to be,” Peeta sniffed, waving two fingers at Johanna with a look of pure scorn and hoity dignity. He lifted his chin up, narrowed his eyes and seemed to puff up like a tiny, zitty version of Professor Malfoy. 

Johanna burst out laughing. Peeta grinned back at her, deflating from his self-righteous sneer of epic Slytherin proportions down to a more manageable, Mellarkian level. 

 

+

 

Two weeks later the first game of the Quidditch season was about to start and one of the chasers for the Slytherin team had come down with a small case of dragonpox. 

“You will do this,” Haymitch said, eyebrows dialled up to eleven on the insanity scale and his usual crow’s nest of pale blond hair looking like a desolated wasteland of bad decisions. 

“I don’t think he can,” Johanna said dubiously, sitting beside Peeta on the locker room bench while he hyperventilated furiously, head tucked beneath his knees. Her Quidditch leathers were almost laced up and her jersey only had a small smudge of dirt near the neck. All in all, she thought she looked highly presentable. 

Haymitch whirled on her, “listen here Mason, we’re down a man and we can’t afford to sit here and twiddle our thumbs while Mellark goes through an existential crisis! He’ll go out there, get on that broom and score us some Gaius-forsaken points if I have to sticky-charm his ass to the wood myself!”

Johanna smirked and Haymitch raised a finger, “don’t even say it Mason!”

There was a hysterical giggle from somewhere near Peeta’s knees and then, “glue my ass to the wood…” He sounded slightly drunk. 

Johanna squinted up at their team captain, “Haymitch, they’re going to slaughter him out there. It’s not like we’re playing Hufflepuff, Hawthorne’s been out for Peeta’s blood for ages.”

“Pfft,” Haymitch waved off her concerns, “it’ll be fine.”

Suddenly Peeta lifted his head, one side of his hair was sticking tightly to his scalp while the other side looked like it was trying to make a break for it. Smart, considering the fact that Hawthorne had filled out an alarming amount for a thirteen year old and now looked like a smaller, darker skinned version of the Goyle cousins up in Ravenclaw. 

“Leave it alone Jo,” Peeta said with conviction, “I can do this. I’m going to do this,” he said, swallowing hard and standing up in one jerky movement- “I’m going to do it for our house, and I’m going to…” he looked sick around the gills, almost green in the early tingle of the morning light- “I’m going to do it for Katniss.”

“Oh Merlin,” Johanna rolled her eyes, “that girl’s going to get you killed one day, you know that- right?”

Peeta whirled on her, a manic gleam in his eyes- “no, but don’t you see? If I go out there, and I actually play on the team instead of warming my ass on the bench- she’s bound to notice me!”

Johanna bent down to lace up her pads- “Peeta, my darling turtledove, you’re going to have to let this go.” 

She finished lacing up and checking the sturdiness of the leather, then stood up beside him “if she hasn’t noticed you by now,” skulking around shiftily and trying to act like archery club was one of his favourite hobbies, “then your chances are pretty damn low that she’s going to notice you today.”

“I must,” Peeta said and swayed in place, looking nauseous and stoic- “to prove my worth as a man.” Even his pimples looked nervous and grey around the edges. 

Johanna made a face at him and then promptly jumped out of the way as Peeta bent over and threw up all over his shin guards. 

“Oh yeah,” she said, “and you’re doing a great job of it so far.” 

Haymitch resurfaced from the back of the locker room, looking even more dishevelled and with a bright red mark on his neck- “you guys ready?” he boomed before making a face. “Oh Mellark, that’s absolutely disgusting.” 

Haymitch swung his wand at the puddle on the floor, “Evanesco,” then lifted his eyebrow at Johanna- “you know, when you said that he’d be a good addition to the team, I actually expected him to want to be on the team.”

Johanna made a thoughtful noise, rubbing the back of Peeta’s bright red neck in reassuring circles. “You smell like lilacs and Gryffindor superiority,” she finally said. 

“He manages to brain himself on the pitch and I’m holding you responsible,” Haymitch sneered, the tips of his ears flushing a blinding shade of pink. 

 

+

 

Gale Hawthorne was the one to actually knock Peeta off his broom in the end, despite all of Haymitch’s doom and gloom predictions. 

His Quaffle connected solidly with Peeta’s head, making a thunking noise as if it hit a hollow space. He fell in a straight line, Johanna streaming after him until his descent was stopped by Hooch’s quick wandwork. 

Madame was already flying to Peeta, bright white hair streaming from the speed- “I’ve got it from here Miss Mason,” she yelled out to Johanna before skidding to a stop beside Peeta’s prone body. 

Johanna nodded, turning around before mantling her broom and kicking up her heels to rise in the air. 

Above them Katniss was arguing loudly with Gale, gesturing wildly down at the ground. She looked wild around the edges, braid flying with every movement of her head as she shoved at Gale’s chest. 

They were so busy screaming at each other that neither one of them noticed Johanna gliding up to them. 

She felt curiously calm. 

“Hawthorne,” she called out. 

Katniss whirled around, “Oh my god, is he okay? How bad was it?”

“It wasn’t exactly a walk through the woods,” Johanna bared her teeth, “getting thrown to the ground from twenty feet in the air by your Neanderthal boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Katniss snapped back. 

“Don’t really give a shit,” Johanna smiled before calling out, “hey Hawthorne- you got anything to say for yourself?”

Gale looked pale, mouth in a tight line and shoulders hunched defensively- “listen, I’m sorry he’s hurt but he shouldn’t have been running his mouth. Especially since he’s got no place on the Quidditch pitch. ”

Yeah, that’s what Johanna thought. She smiled again, this time showing all her teeth. 

Katniss’s eyes widened and she reached out, but nowhere quick enough to stop Johanna from diving forward and punching Gale Hawthorne hard enough to break his nose.

 

+

 

Her hands still stunk of mandrake root and the boiled bubotuber grease felt like it was weighing her head down to the floor. Johanna stalked away from the dungeons, feeling like Peeta must have once hormones went to war with him. 

Malfoy’s detentions weren’t usually this bad on the Slytherins, but this time the man was vicious. He made her boil five cauldrons full of bubotuber grease, making sure to extract the pus as she went along, grind two kilos of mandrake root and then write a five hundred word essay on why it was wrong to punch Gale Hawthorne in full view of everyone. 

He was probably just pissed that Professor Potter had been there to see Johanna acting like, as Professor Malfoy put it so wonderfully, ‘a common miscreant and a thug.’ 

“Your face is a miscreant and a thug,” Johanna muttered to herself, picking up her pace to make sure that she avoided the midnight patrols. 

It was probably Haymitch on duty tonight, but even he was likely to make more trouble for her than not. He was beyond angry at her for getting suspended from two games. 

Thankfully, Ennobaria- the backup beater was vicious enough to make a good standin while Johanna was out of commission, even if she did tend to terrify the whole team with her teeth. A cosmetic spell gone wrong, Ennobaria was twisted enough to keep the sharklike teeth that the spell had left her with. There was a rumour going around that she drank blood. Nobody would be surprised if the rumour was true. 

Johanna was just turning into the hallway when she saw the door to the infirmary room swing open and Katniss Everdeen step out. Her hair, for once, was out of its customary braid and she looked like she was wearing an old leather jacket around her shoulders, huddling into it for warmth. 

That was the difference between the muggleborn students and the purebloods, they tended to forget about magic for the most of mundane issues, tended to think of spells as only special things, things to do in only extraordinary circumstances. 

Johanna would bet that it hadn’t even occurred to Katniss to cast a warming spell. 

Katniss looked around and Johanna stepped right behind a wall, watching the other girl with narrowed eyes. Gryffindors didn’t tend to be so sneaky and Johanna was intrigued, despite herself, to see what Katniss Everdeen was up to. 

She waited until the other girl turned the corner before going up to the door. 

Peeta was the only one in the infirmary that night. Madame Pomfrey’s office was closed and Johanna couldn’t hear any movement behind the door. 

She made her way to Peeta’s bed, he was sleeping peacefully, the large ugly bruise from the fall turning his face into shadows. His breath rattled a little as he breathed and Johanna knew that he must have broken a rib or two. Pomfrey’s pain and sleeping potions were probably responsible for his sleep, not the fact that Gale Hawthorne was an idiot and could have killed him. 

“Huh,” Johanna stopped short, surprised enough to speak out loud. There was a box beside the bed, near the lamp on the small side-table. 

As soon as Johanna unrolled it, she could tell what they were- peanut butter pecan pastries. Peeta’s favourite. Only recently introduced to the Hogwarts menu, they hadn’t yet gained the enormous popularity of the pumpkin pastries. Peeta was in fact, if Johanna wasn’t mistaken, the only one in their year who would actually celebrate every time they were on the menu. 

She closed the box and moved it closer to the lamp. 

Peeta didn’t stir, only smacked his lips a little bit and let out a nasal snore. 

 

+

 

The next morning, as she was reading the Daily Prophet at breakfast and Peeta, fresh from his stay in the infirmary was eating everything in sight- he said, “oh, I’ve been meaning to say thanks for the pastries.” Peeta beamed at her, one of his kind smiles, the ones that made his eyes crinkle and his forehead scrunch up a little bit. 

Johanna privately thought that Peeta looked a little bit like a short, old man when he was that happy. 

“That was real decent of you,” Peeta continued, smiling winsomely and wrinkledly in Johanna’s direction- “you always know how to cheer me up. You’re a good best friend Jo.”

Johanna choked back the tea that suddenly tasted bitter in her mouth. 

When she looked over at the Gryffindor table, Katniss and Gale had their heads leaning close again, whispering their Gryffindorish goody-two shoes secrets, no doubt. Neither one of them looked up at the force of Johanna’s glare. 

“You want to play Exploding Snap after lunch?” Peeta asked hopefully and slid a piece of treacle tart over onto Johanna’s plate. 

“Yeah,” Johanna blinked and looked away from the Gryffindors, looked at her best friend and smiled back at him- “yeah, that sounds good.”


End file.
